Fear of what is to come

I must admit that with everything that I have done in my life and all of the things that I have faced there has been one factor that has always been there.... fear. In a lot of cases I completely understood that fear. When I graduated from high school, it was the fear of starting college and being alone. When I got married I was afraid that I would never be "good enough" as a wife. With every child that I have had there was the fear of something being wrong during the pregnancy and fear of losing my child during birth. Now that my children are growing it is the fear that I am not doing enough as a mother. As a Soldier in the military there has always been the fear of losing the person to my left or right, and while on deployment the fear of not coming home to my children, or coming home disfigured.

When I took up photography I discovered another fear that I did not know that existed. The fear of what is to come.

I never realized how much a camera, and the thought of what that camera could produce scared people. I have seen people panic before a shoot about what they are going to look like in the final product, they panic during the shoot and after the shoot. I have heard horror stories of people seeing the final project and blaming the photographer for the way that they look.
I would like to take a moment to explain a few things. First of all, yes a photographer does have some control of the overall out come of a photo. We are able to control things such as the way that the photo is composed, the posing of our clients, to some extent the lighting, and post processing. Please understand that photographers DO NOT Photoshop their clients to add 50lbs, and no, a camera does not add 10lbs. There is no reason for us to do things like this. It does not in anyway benefit us to make our clients unhappy. Yes, when we edit our photos and we add some artistic uniqueness to them, and that is our style. Our style is what attracts the client. 

I will personally admit that I am not a fan of being in front of the camera. Here are my reasons why I do not like to be in front of the camera:

1. I am not comfortable with how I look most days.
2. I am not the one in control of the situation.
3. I am afraid of what the person behind the camera is actually thinking about me.
4. I am aware that I do not look like a model, and it makes me worry that my looks are going to affect the final product.
5. I am afraid of what others will say about the photos that are created.

Now these may be very similar reasons that you are afraid to be in front of the camera. However, are these reasons really substantial enough to be fearful or angry about the final product? In my personal and humble opinion my answer to you would be, NO. I am sure that you are wondering why I would say this about my own fears. Please let me explain by breaking these fears down a bit.

1. I am not comfortable with how I look most days. Why am I not comfortable? Well the simple answer is that is how I have been conditioned. I have spent many years in the military and one of the requirements is monitoring my weight and giving an appearance of being fit and if for some reason this was not meant you were immediately labeled as fat, and could potentially be put out of the military. My whole career I have ridden the line of the weight and therefore I panic about how I look because it really could cost me my job. However is this really the case for you? Have you been conditioned to be overly mindful of how you look? In most cases I will say yes, because society as a whole conditions people to believe that we should all look, act and dress a certain way. However is it true? Take a moment and look in the mirror, I bet there is someone looking back that is very beautiful in their own way no matter how they look.

2. I am not in control of the situation. This is one you may or may not struggle with. I feel that I struggle with this because of several reasons. One, I know how the camera works and I want to control the settings and everything about the situation, two, my background has taught me to be in control no matter what the cost because in some cases it could cost me my survival. Now realize this is a bit extreme, and may not apply to you. Trust the person that you are paying to take your photo. You picked them for a reason, and you gave them your money. Let go of your control and trust the photographer to make your photo beautiful and amazing.

3. I am afraid of what the person behind the camera is thinking of me. I guess that this is really silly. If the person behind the camera thought I was a horrible ugly person I am sure that they would find a reason to not take my money. If the person behind the camera thinks I am horrible why would they want to have to deal with me at all. I personally believe that not every photographer can take every persons photo. There has to be a fit between the client and the photographer. If there is not a good fit the overall experience is not going to be great, and it is going to lead to a horrible interaction. Therefore when you are booking with your photographer make sure that you are comfortable with them, if you are worried about what they think of you after you meet with them, maybe there is reason. However maybe it is just not a good fit. Keep looking, and find the photographer with the style that you love, and that makes you feel comfortable and is a good fit for you and your family.

4.  I am aware that I do not look like a model, and it makes me worry that my looks are going to affect the final product. In America we are conditioned to believe that we must always look like a super model in front of a camera and if we don't the picture will not turn out. This is not the case. Ladies, every stretch mark, every scar, every bit of stretched out skin is what makes you unique. Every gray hair that you have acquired, make you special and unique to someone. Believe it or not there are many men out there that believe that there spouse is beautiful the way that they are. Stretch marks and all. Why? Because it is their wife and each of these things is apart of a time in their life together and they would not trade that time for the world. Ladies, just because your husband does not tell you that you are beautiful does not mean that they do not think that. They just don't realize that we need to hear it. For my younger ladies that have not had children and have not started to age remember that you are beautiful as you are. Each of us is different and there is no reason to believe that you need to look like a Victoria Secret model in order to take a photo. Be who you are and love every moment of it because you are you, and that means you are beautiful. Do not believe that the final product is going to be affected, because it will be a final product of you and therefore will be amazing just like you.

5. I am afraid of what others will say about the photos that are created. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is something that you should never be afraid of. It is null and void. Stop and take a look at the final product. Do you love it? Does it represent you? Does your uniqueness come out in the photo? How does the photo make you feel? Notice all of these questions are about you. If you are happy with the final product, then who cares what anyone else thinks? YOU paid for the photos, and they are of YOU. As long as you are happy and you feel amazing about them who cares what others think? You are the only one that needs to be happy with them.

Never be afraid of what is to come when you are in front of the camera. Trust that you are making every moment matter, and your photographer is catching those moments and will ensure that it is beautiful. Remember your photographer is not out to ruin you, they are there to make you feel amazing and beautiful, they want you to be happy with the outcome, not afraid of it. They are not going to make you look horrible they are going to catch your natural beauty and emphasize it.

Never fear what is to come, because what is coming is a small glimpse of you and your personal amazingness, embrace it and love it! Don't fight it, change it, or hide it! Love who you are!

 

Tell me what you think of this photo. Is she beautiful? Should she have stayed away from the camera? Do you think the photographer did her a disservice or did this photographer capture this subject and everything about her?