If failure truly failure?

"Failure doesn't mean you are a failure. It just means you haven't succeeded yet"

-Robert Schuller

Over the last few months I have been struggling to meet the goals that I have set for my business for the year. They are small goals. Things like: Increase profit to $1,000 this year. Increase followers on Facebook and Twitter. Develop a strong business and marketing plan and stick to it. Increase clients by ten.  It all seems simple, however the more that I am diving into it, and wanting to make this work, the more that I am realizing that it is not as simple as I thought that it was going to be. 

I will admit that I am a bit stressed about the whole thing, and I have fallen into the trap of feeling as though I am failing. I have set goals for my business and for my blog, and for whatever reason I am just not meeting them like I should be. I blame myself for not being knowledgeable enough in business and blogging, and this leads to believing that I am failing. However, am I really failing? 

I am slowly growing my knowledge as my photographer, and as I grow I make sure that I am sharing that knowledge here with you. What does that do for me? Well it does two things, one it helps me to cement what I am doing in my head and helps me to remember it. When I was in the military we were taught with one method. It was the "See one, do one, teach one" method. he way that it works is that you have something demonstrated to you, then you perform the action, once you have performed it successfully you must teach it to the next person. This was something that I did not think would work when I was first introduced to it, however I have now realized that I am learning and maintaining more knowledge when I practice this method. The second thing that it is doing for me is it is helping me accomplish the goal of 8 blog posts a month for me here. If I am learning or improving on something at least 8 times a month that means that I am also sharing it here with you. Two birds with one stone. So, is this really failing? (as long as I am consistent)

I struggle with the idea that my business is more of a hobby then it is a business. However after watching a few videos from the The ModernTog I have come to realize that this is something that I need to shift my mindset on. Once I start treating it like a business and not a hobby I am sure things will begin to change. I have also learned from The Business Bytes Podcast that is run by Rachel Brenke at the Law Tog that I need a client avatar. Sounds weird, but believe it or not it has helped me move from treating my business as a hobby to a business. I am now trying to find ways to appeal to that person/avatar, and find ways to reach them and get them to want to book with me. So, I am not exactly succeeding yet, but am I really failing?

When it comes to owning your own business and doing what you love you have to define what failure really is. This is something that I believe only you can define, and that no one else can define for you because it is going to be different from person to person, and situation to situation. For example, for some people not being able to support their family and being full time is a failure. Not being  on page one of the google search is a failure. At this point in my business my belief is that if I drain the fun out of photography and I lose my love for it, that is when I have failed as a business. I am running my business for fun and to help my family, however I do not want it to consume my life and make it to where I no longer love going out and taking photos and making people feel amazing about themselves. When I lose that, that is when I will tell you that I have failed.

I am sure that there are a number of you out there that question your sanity and think that you are failing every single day, but are you really failing? Did you wake up this morning? Did you get out of bed? Did you accomplish your morning routine with your family? Now that you are sitting in front of your computer are you getting ready to work toward some goal? If you have gotten this far into this post, then trust me my friend you are not failing! You have already succeeded a lot already today! Take those successes and continue to apply them to the things that you need to get done for you and for your business. If that means that you have a full day of editing ahead of you, well I am sure that you have a coffee pot full and ready to go. If it is a day full of shooting, I am sure the batteries are charged and you are ready to go. These things are also successes. Never discount the small things. Always try to look for the wins, not the failures. A failure is nothing but a bump in the road to teach you something in order to grow. All you have to do is learn your lesson and move forward from that moment and apply what you have learned from that lesson. 

What are some wins for you? What are you struggling with? How do you view failure? Lets talk about it! Leave your comments in the comments below or if you would like to  discuss it personally please contact me via email. You can find the contact box on the right side of your screen. 

*Disclaimer* The links that are in this blog post ARE NOT affiliate links. I believe in giving credit where credit is due. These two ladies have helped to open my eyes in this area and if you are interested in what they can do for you I highly recommend that you follow the links and see what they can help you with!

What do you see?

I have a tendency to struggle with a lot of things when it comes to photography, and if you have been reading this blog for a while you are very well aware of the fact that I struggle. I am slow to learn, and I am slow to grasp and maintain an idea or a concept. I struggle a lot with this blog too. There are times that I wonder if I really help anyone with the things that I write, or if I am investing all of this time and effort and it is not helping anyone.

I have also realized that thought processes like this is a huge road block for me and has taken the fun out of photography. The last time that I touched a camera was a few weeks ago at my son's last basketball game. When I realized this I also realized that I was cheating myself, and I was losing the chance to practice.

I am not going to sit here and tell you that I take my DSLR and practice every day and that I take everywhere with me. However I do have a camera that I barely use that does travel with me everyday. So I thought about all the times that I could have used my camera that I have and chose not to because it was not my DSLR. What are the things that I have missed? Where could I have had the chance to learn and grow as a photographer and didn't take it because I felt that I didn't have a camera with me?

I have decided that is now time to stop making excuses and to start practicing when ever I have the chance to do so. Even if this means that I am going to be using my Iphone 7 Plus camera rather then my DSLR. In essence I am going to slow down and take time to stop and smell the roses.

Stopping and smelling the roses... Isn't that what photography is all about? It makes stop and take a moment to admire the beauty in something that catches our eye at that particular moment. I think sometimes we all need that a little more in our day to day lives.

Here is my first of photo of this. It caught my eye as I was out on my walk today.

What do you see? Where do you think I was? What camera did I use? And what did I use to edit this photo with?

So this is my challenge to you! Take a moment and "Stop and smell the roses!" And then come right back here and leave your "roses" for the rest of us to enjoy!

Please your answers to the questions in the comments below, and also if you have decided that it is time for you to show down and smell the roses, I would love to see your photos from that as well. Please leave a link or post them directly in the comments! I look forward to seeing everyone's answers and work!

Sigma customer service, my personal experience

Within this post are embedded affiliate links to Amazon. As a small reminder I only make a small commission from any sales from these links in order to maintain my blog. Thank you so much for your support in advance!


It Happens to Everyone

A few weeks ago I experienced what every photographer fears, a mechanical failure. I was at my son's basketball game, and I was clicking away trying to get some amazing action shots that will one day be printed and make it into his scrapbook when I realized that there was an issue. I was shooting with my Nikon D7100 and I had my Sigma 70-200mm. I  thought at first that I was imagining things, because this was me, and I am always so careful with my gear that there is no way that there was an issue, but I was wrong. Throughout the rest of the quarter I could not get the lens to lock on a focus, I couldn't even get it to manually focus. I thought that it was all very odd. So my first thought was that it had been working fine a few nights ago and my other son's wrestling tournament so it had to be me. I was missing something. The first thing I thought of was that the contact points were dirty. So I took the lens off and cleaned all the contact points the best that I could. Once this was completed, I replaced the lens, and magically it would focus again, but it lasted for exactly three shots. At this point I was very concerned that there was something very wrong with either the camera or my favorite lens. I removed the lens and placed my Sigma 24-70mm on the camera and it immediately focused and was ready to work. This let me know that it was the lens and not the camera that was the issue.

When I got home I took to Facebook and all of my reliable photography groups and explained what happened in hopes that there was something that I was missing, maybe I had accidentally changed a setting and didn't realize it, bumped something, anything that would fix the issue. After many suggestions and all of the simple fixes didn't correct the issue I knew there was no other option. I had to send my lens to Sigma. Thankfully it is still under warranty, however, this was not something that I wanted to do. I did not want to be without my lens for who knows how long.

Prepping to Send it Off

I will admit that I have never had to use the warranty or ever send my camera gear in for repair before so this was all a new experience for me. I first went to the Sigma website and signed up for a customer account which was super easy. After this was completed my husband discovered that you could file a warranty claim on line. So we went ahead and filed. The form was pretty basic. It asked about the type of lens the serial number, the dealer it was purchased from, the date it was purchased, the camera that the lens was being used on, and at the bottom it asked what was wrong with the lens. When I filled this part out I was very specific and described everything that was going on and everything that I had tried as well. Once it was completed we received an automated email from Sigma with the address to ship too and advice in regards to shipping. They recommend that we make sure that we ship the package with a tracking number and that it was insured. Once that was taken care of I pulled out the warranty form and read it. There was a sticker that was suppose to be filled out by the dealer, however my dealer had not done this. So I filled out the dealer information after contacting them and also placed all of my information on the form. The dealer also recommended that we send a copy of the sales receipt in case there was any question since this was something that was purchased online. Once this was all done I placed the lens back in the original box with as much packaging as I could find to protect it on its journey and took it to the local UPS store.

The Wait

This was the worst part of the whole ordeal, and honestly probably my only complaint with Sigma about dealing with them. I mailed my lens to them on the 21st of Feb, and it arrived to them on the 23rd of Feb. The only reason that I know that it got there is because I was tracking it. I never received contact from them that it had arrived. Once it was there it was radio silence until the 27th when I received another email, and all it contained was the statement of what was wrong, how they fixed it, that it was covered by warranty and a tracking number because it was already on the way back! I received it on the 1st of March. The reason that I say that this is a complaint is because I received no kind of contact with a real person, it was all automation. Not to mention I had to monitor when my lens arrived as they did not notify me that it had arrived or anything. I am a person that enjoys some kind of contact when dealing with things like this, and this was a tad difficult for me.

The Arrival

When my lens came back I was very anxious to open it up and see if they had been able to fix my issues with the lens. I was not expecting what I saw.

When I opened the box as you can see there was nothing but bubble wrap. This was impressive to me to see this, considering that when I received this initially at purchase this was not how I received the lens. After I removed the bubble wrap from around the original box I opened the original box to see this.

Inside the case there is even more bubble wrap! Something I was not expecting, as this was not how I got it at the time of purchase. I then pulled the lens out of its case to see this. 

The lens hood was placed in a separate bag, and placed over the bubble wrap to hold it in place, when I removed the bubble wrap the lens was even in a separate bag. I was very impressed! Sigma took the time to ensure that nothing was going to happen to my lens on its return trip. 

Once all of the packing was removed I immediately placed my lens on my Nikon D7100 and it began to function flawlessly! I could not be more relieved. 

So overall I must say that Sigma and their customer service is impressive. It was extremely easy to file a claim and have it processed in a timely manner, and I really did not have much down time without my lens. As I stated above my only issue with the customer support is that I never heard from a live person, however a number of things are going that way so I guess there is not much room to complain, and my lens was taken care of with little cost to me. 

I hope that if you are ever in this situation that this is helpful to you and that it eases your mind when you are shipping off your expensive gear to the manufacturer for repair, and just know that you will have a good experience with Sigma. 

Have you had experiences with Sigma that you would like to share? Please leave them in the comments below! 

What can I do for you in 2017?

I have been writing this blog since 2015 and it is my hope that I have shared some valuable experiences with you all that has helped you in some way or another, even if it is just to let you know that you are not the only one that is struggling with something in photography. Which has been my ultimate goal.

Last month I decided to make a list of goals that I wanted to accomplish over the next year. I broke it up into several areas, personal, photography, and blogging. In each area I picked things I wanted to improve upon in order to grow and become a better person. So over the course of the last month I have been working on these items and trying to find avenues to improve. One of the areas that I try to get ideas from to help me move forward is podcasts. I recently listened to a podcast from Darren Rowse from ProBlogger and I realized that there may be more that I should be doing for my readers. In the podcast titled An Alternate Resolution to Transform your Blogging in 2017 Darren made the suggestion that bloggers at times are more worried about what their blog is doing for them, making an income, being a basis of content, being an outlet for the blogger to express themselves etc, however what is it really doing for their reader? This made me stop and think. I have spent the last few years trying to be a consistent blogger and sharing my experiences with you, good and bad, with the idea of being educational. But has it even been helpful? I do not have a huge reader base so the question becomes am I not doing enough for my readers?

I have decided that this is something that I need to focus more on this year. I want to interact more with my readers, and I want my content to be driven more by what the readers would like to see. With that thought in mind here it is....

What would you like to see more of in regards to content?

What do you think I should cover more of in 2017?

What would you like to learn more about this year?

What would it take for me to get you to join my email list and become an active participant with the blog?

Please leave your answers in the comments or email them to me personally. I want nothing more then to improve over the coming year and I need your help in order to do that. I am looking forward to all of the responses that I am able to get in order to shape this blog!

How should a photographer do a model call?

In my previous post, Model Calls, Do I need them to build a Portfolio?   I discussed my feelings about model calls and if they are really worth all the blood, sweat, and tears that go into them. There are a number of photographers out there that believe that they are worth it, so with this thought in mind I decided it might be helpful to put a post together with ideas that I have found across the internet and in groups that I am involved in to help you have the best experience with a model call.

The information that I am about to provide is going to come from responses that I got via Facebook when I asked,

"Has anyone here done a model call before? Any tips or tricks to make it run smooth? Any guidance you would give to someone that is considering doing one for the first time?" I am also going to provide some information that I have found from scouring the internet with the idea of being a photographer considering to model call for the first time.


During my Google search the first article I encountered was an article written my Rachel Brenke 5 Tips to Successful Portfolio Building. It seemed odd at first that this was the first article until I actually opened it up and read it. The article is based around  building a portfolio, however it does give pointers on what to do regarding model calls. Some of the biggest points that she made was that you need to make sure you have a model contract, model release, and print release. Also make sure that you have covered all the questions regarding what the model is going to get. Be as prepared as possible and more or less you are trying to make this to where the model cannot back out after they get their prints or digitals or whatever you are giving them and then  not allow you to publish your work.

As I continued my Google search I noticed a trending theme, use modeling agencies. I thought that this was kind of absurd to be honest. What modeling agency would want to work with someone like me? Here is what I discovered. Models need to have their own portfolios as well and those that are starting out typically do not have one. The smaller agencies do not have their own photographers and in most cases do not have the funds to create the portfolios for the models, so what they do is they send their girls to photographers who cold call or cold email them if they appear to be a good fit and it becomes a win win situation all the way around. The model gets the portfolio that she needs and the photographer gets the images they need to update their portfolio. There are some guidelines you may have to follow if you decide to use these photos for advertising (on billboards and such) or if you sell them, but that is as simple as contacting the agency to determine what the best course of action is.


Here are some of the Facebook responses that I got. I spent about a week collecting these answers from various groups with only posing the phrase that I mentioned above.


"Some have facebook groups that trade work, photographers, models and makeup artists(mua or ma) theres usually a trade for pics agreement (tfp). Might check your area. If you do use models, make sure to have them sign a release and make sure to list what the trade off is in the relase, like said number of digital photos for their modeling services."

"Make sure you have solid contracts AND model releases. Be 100% clear about what is included with your call and what is NOT included. Know exactly what you want to shoot, and why you want to shoot it and don't just take the first person who volunteers (unless they're exactly what you're looking for).you'll want to call them somehitng like "discounted portfolio building sessions" so you can still charge for them, but grow as well. I wouldn't offer to do them for free. Still make sure you have a good contract and release"

"Have a contract in place. Mine specifies thst if they rescind their permission to use the photos they owe me whatever the cost of that particular session is at the time they change their mind. I give digitals, so they only get 3 digital images, and they have to do an in person viewing to select them, no gallery is given. They can select more if they want. I also try to put the word out what I'm looking for by word of mouth rather than posting on fb"

"Prepare a list of criteria so you know who your ideal client would be. Create an online application for ppl to complete if they are interested and state that you will only contact those selected and who meet the criteria. This will save you tons of time and ensure that you get the most out of your casting call."

" Make sure to describe your ideal candidate. If you want a fashionable senior - ask them to send a picture that shows off their personal style! Or, if you're looking for an adventurous, in love couple, ask them to send a photo of them doing something they love. It tells you A LOT about them and you can choose accordingly!"

"Collect a retainer fee that is refundable when they attend the model call, to ensure attendance. Otherwise you may end up with no-shows."

"I have the best success with model calls when I plan the style I want, along with location etc. So they are images that showcase my style well for my website. I communicate lots with them a couple days before and then send a good morning text the day of and have had no problems with no shows"

" I do 5 digitals and I make the selections. They have the ability to select more if they like. Mine actually does go out via Facebook, on my biz page, you can look through if you like. But I may refrain from doing that in the future and offer it as a complimentary shoot to my friends/their friends and try to imply value/awesome gift for them more so than portfolio building/etc."

"I require models to give model release or if defeats the purpose. And I pay my models rather than giving them images, it seems to work better to deter flaky people. They can purchase images if they choose to but they're not included in the deal at all"

After getting all of these responses I thought it was great. I felt like this is something that I could do, and it was even better that I was able to get some advice from people that had done them before and learn from their mistakes or the things that worked best for them. All of these answers that I received made sense to me, and for someone who has never done a model call gives a guideline of what I need to be preparing myself for.

1. Pre planning the shoot and what I want so that I can be up front with models with what my expectations of the shoot and of them are and I can also put it in writing.

2. MODEL RELEASES AND CONTRACTS! This is something that I would have never considered before considering the fact that this is a "we are working together" situation. I would have never thought to have a contract that was specific about what the model was going to get and also making sure that I had the model release, considering the fact that this is a model shoot it is something that in my head is implied. So much for being a trusting person.

3. Be picky about your models. This is something else I would have never considered. My thought initially would have been if they applied then they meet the criteria, but to stop and evaluate them as a whole and make sure that they are going to represent me as a photographer and my brand. That is something that to consider.

4. Require a retainer fee. This was a new one. Who doesn't love having free photos done? So if you know they are free why wouldn't you show up? I found out that this is actually a thing. Models opt to not show up. That just blows my mind. IT IS FREE!!! So in realizing that not all models are serious a refundable retainer fee now makes a lot of sense to me.

How do you feel about model calls? Are they worth it to you? Let me know in the comments! Or you can always add your email to our email list and join in on discussions, make suggestions for up coming posts, or even be a guest poster! I look forward to hearing from you all!

Model Calls, Do I need them to build a portfolio?

Over the last few weeks I have been looking through the many groups that I am in on social media and I have started to notice a theme as of late. I guess it is that time of year and everyone is wanting to update their portfolios so a lot of the discussions in the various groups have turned to how to do a model call and/or do I need to do a model call.

I will admit that this is something that I have thought about for a while. Is a model call something that I need to do? Is it something that I want to do? Is it something that is going to help me and my business? If so how is it going to help? I will admit there are several areas that I am not so sure that it will help, but I am sure that over all there are some benefits.

So the first thing to address is do I really need to do a model call? I think that this is a by photographer basis only. It depends on how much work you have been putting out in the previous year, and it depends on where you plan to take yourself this year. For example if you are strictly a family photographer but now you want to branch out to newborn photography I believe that a newborn model call is in order. One it helps you get clients in the door, and it gives you time to practice while there is little to no expectation from the client. This also gives you the chance to figure out several things about newborn photography. First, is this even something that you like? Lets be serious for a moment, why would you want to start offering services for something that you realize is just not "your thing"? It is not going to benefit you, your brand, and most of all it is not going to benefit your client. Second it gives you a chance to figure out your niche within that particular type of photography. For example do you prefer stylized newborn photography or do you prefer lifestyle newborn photography? These are all things that you have a chance to figure out just with a model call.

The second purpose to a model call is to build your portfolio in that particular genre. In order to get clients you have to look like you are already doing work in that area. No one paying money ever wants to be a guinea pig for a photographer. Your clients typically are going to pick you based upon previous work that they have seen of yours. However, if there is no previous work for them to look at, they are unable to believe that they are going to get a product that they love. They are also unable to determine your style, or concept without having previous sessions to view. Previous work can be crucial for getting the next client, and if you don't have it you are more than likely going to have less bookings then the photographer that has a portfolio with something to show.

Model calls are great for other reasons as well. For example maybe it is a slow month for you and you decide that it is time to tackle a project that you have been working on for months. You put together your model call, get a few willing participants and you are now able to complete the dream project that you have not had time to do, or did not have willing subjects to shoot for in months. Model calls are also great for just practice. Again, there may be some down time for you. You decide you want to work with your off camera flash and get better at that skill. You get a few models through a model call and practice. Not only are you getting the chance to practice a skill but you are also getting the chance to potentially create photos for your portfolio.

Now in the beginning I eluded to the fact that there are some times that I feel model calls are not worth it. First, they are not worth it if the model or the models parents are not going to let you publish your work. The whole purpose is to be able to publish your work and if you are unable to do so, you have just wasted your time and energy for almost nothing. I also do not feel model calls are needed every year just to update the current portfolio. For example, you as the photographer had a great year the previous year, and it is time to update the work that you show to new clients before they book. There is no reason to have a model call to create more photos when you have previous real clients that you can show off. Believe it or not I have actually seen where some have gotten a better reception from potential clients when they see that their friends or family are in the portfolio of the photographer. It gave that photographer the extra edge I believe in order to gain the trust of the client before the session even began. One last area that I am not keen about model calls is brides. I believe that the coordination for this in of itself would be horrendous first of all. People who are modeling as brides are not stressed, they are just models and they are doing it for fun. This is a far cry from the actual bride who is stressed, has a mother and a mother in law breathing down her neck over every little detail of the wedding, or is just the dreaded bridezilla that happens from time to time. The dynamic is completely changed in this area if you are using a model call. Not to mention if you use a model call for brides you will not have a wedding portfolio to show the end result... the wedding... to a client, and this can potentially be a discredit to you and your business.

Here are some other issues that I can also see with model calls. Typically for the model the shoot is free and it includes hair and makeup. How many of us can really do hair and makeup? I know I can't, I am a tomboy at heart so my answer to everything is a little bit of lip gloss and a ponytail. That is not going to work for a model call. So who is going to pay for the hair and makeup stylist, well, my friend that is going to be you. Unless of course there is some sort of crazy deal that you can work with them as well where maybe they use your photos in their portfolio, but that is a whole different ball of wax that I am not going to get into. So you are going to be out of pocket for this portion. Another issue you run into is the lack of listening on the end of the model. You may be going for a styled look, and you express this to the model, they agree yet on the day of the shoot they show up with sweats and a t-shirt and expect you to make them look amazing. Realize still that you are out of pocket for a makeup and hairstylist, and everything else is free.

My last big issue is the application process. I saved this one for last because I am not a fan of confrontation and I believe that there will be a huge amount here. When you put out on your social media sites that you are going to do a model call you are going to get potentially  a large number of responses. Now you have to go through each application and pick and choose which models you are going to use. This is going to leave some models complaining and whining and wanting to know why they were not good enough to be picked by you. This is something that I am just not good at dealing with, and therefore causes me to shy away from model calls all together.

So do you need model calls to build your portfolio? Maybe. It is going to be a case by case basis. Are model calls really worth it? I think that this is something that is also a case by cases basis. There are huge number of pros and cons that are associated with this, and well, it really boils down to personal choice.

Are there other subjects that you would like to see discussed here? Please leave suggestions in the comments below. Do you use model calls? What have been your experiences? I would love to hear your perspective on the topic, lets talk about it in the comments, or send me an email!

If you would like to help guide the topics of the blog, or give suggestions or even guest post, please add or email to the email list using the "Contact us" block in the side bar.

It's rough, but you are going to survive.

  It has been a rough week for me... I am sure there are a number of people out there that has said that this week. I really try not to think this way, but to come right out and say it, this week has sucked.

I am not one to complain, or say anything about what is going on with me at all. I am a Soldier, a Nurse, Photographer, Wife, and Mother, and with all of these professions you are placing the needs of someone else first. Let me tell you... this week that has been rough. I am not saying this to say that I am a selfish person, I am saying it because I am struggling. 

As a Soldier for the many years that I have done it I have never thought about myself. I have only thought about the people to my right and to my left, and what is going on with them. I have put myself in harms way for others, I have dropped my own problems to walk another Soldier thru their problems, I have put my life on hold in order to put someone else first. Am I complaining? No. In fact I am proud to say that this is what I have done as a Soldier and as a leader. As a Soldier I am also a Nurse, and let me tell you I have gone for hours sitting at a bedside holding a patients hand to let them know that they are not alone. I have given a family member a hug, and stood by their side as they watched their family member slip away. I have been there to celebrate the joys of birth and the relief when a patient realizes that they have survived something that they did not think was possible. I have come in early, worked late and put my heart into my job with my patients and I have loved every moment of it. As a photographer I pride myself on capturing a moment in time that someone is not going to want to forget. Catching a feeling, an expression, an emotion and seeing my client's face when they see this moment is captured forever and being able to hold onto it for a lifetime. As a wife I have held my husband's hand as he recovered from surgery. Held onto him and comforted him as his heart hurts from things in his past and above all I have loved him with all that I have. As a mother I struggle daily with my three beautiful blessings. I have gone from cuddling them, and kissing away their pain from a scrape to watching them struggle and grow and know that there is nothing that I can do to protect them. My heart is full of love and joy for them as I watch them make amazing choices and continue to show that they have learned the difference from right and wrong and have been able to start identifying who they are and how amazing they are going to be. 

So after staying all that I am sure you are asking how I see myself as struggling. As I said in the above paragraph everyone in my life, friends, family, clients, Soldiers are all put in front of my needs and my wants. I have never put myself first. However now I am struggling. I struggle because I am unable at the moment to do these things. You see I have recently had surgery... again.  In the past 6 months I have had three surgeries on my feet and the most recent was rather serious as I had to get a bone graft and replace half a bone in my foot. This latest surgery has put me on crutches for 8 weeks and has crippled my ability to do much more then sit on the couch and play on my computer or the playstation. I am unable to do much of anything and now I am very reliant on my amazing husband to do the most basic of tasks and it is hard. I t is very hard to be the one that everyone has been reliant on and become the person that needs someone to help them.

However I must admit that this has helped me in a number of ways. 
1. I am currently working thru an online photography class and learning so many new techniques and getting new ideas and building my skill behind my lens.
2. My husband and I have grown closer and each of us is taking more of an interest in the other's passions and favorite pass times.
3. I have become more of a sounding board for my children and they are opening up and sharing things with me that I do not believe they would have taken the time to do so if I wasn't trapped on the couch.
4. I have the time to build my business, blog, and learn more in regards to the finer art of using the editing programs that I have.
5. I have come to realize that what I do is not because I have too, it is truly because I love it

The number one thing that I have learned is that even though it is rough being out of commission and feeling useless, that I am not useless. There are things that I can still accomplish and I can still be who I am. Above all it may be rough, but I know that I am going to survive. No matter the situation, it is going to be rough but I am going to survive. I hope that is something that you remember the next time that you are having a rough time. Just hold on tight to the realization that you are going to survive, and you will be better for it.